


meltdown: hope (it's all in your mind and it's fighting you)

by i_was_human



Series: after the end [6]
Category: Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lobotomy Corporation Fusion, Gore, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope-centric, Multiple Personalities, Past Character Death, Suicide, nobody's really okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 08:23:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21317110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: Hoseok knows he's been scrapped before. A lot, actually. Not that he knows why.If they told him, they'd kill him.
Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Everyone
Series: after the end [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534679
Kudos: 9





	meltdown: hope (it's all in your mind and it's fighting you)

Hoseok and Hope are two separate entities.

Always have been, always will be.

After all, with eight abnormalities to manage instead of the usual four, two are all but required.

Not that Hoseok likes Hope. They're the yin to each other's yang, with Hope's smiles and bubbly personality standing in stark contrast to Hoseok's stoicism.

Hoseok knows he's been scrapped before. A lot, actually. Not that he knows why.

If they told him, they'd kill him.

"Ho~bi!"

Hoseok grimaces, reluctantly turning to see Hope's upside-down smile. "What do you want, Hope?"

"I want you to smile!" Hope chirps, and Hoseok rolls his eyes. "Aww~ come on, Hobi!"

"Jump off a roof," Hoseok dryly retorts, and Hope gasps, feigning hurt. 

"How could you?" he demands, though Hoseok knows he's not serious. Hope never is. "I thought we were friends!"

"We're..."

And Hoseok doesn't quite know _what _they are, but they're definitely not friends. If anything, they're like two halves of one whole.

Two halves of one whole human.

He shakes his head, unsure where that thought came from. God, he needs a drink. Maybe Jin has something for him.

* * *

He knows now.

"It's not real!" Hoseok screams, dark eyes crazed and empty. "You're not me!"

Hope dodges with ease, heartbreak evident in his dark eyes. "Hobi-ah-"

"You don't get to use that name!" Hoseok shrieks, a hand reaching up to grip his hair. "You don't get to have that name!"

"Hobi-"

"How can you be happy this way?" Hoseok demands, and Hope stops. "You only feel happiness! You're a glorified puppet!"

Hope screws his eyes shut, hair falling in his face. "No. No, no, you're wrong, Hoseok, you're _wrong_-"

"Fuck this!" Hoseok shouts, and he can hear footsteps ringing through the empty room, but he doesn't _care_. "Fuck this!"

"Hobi!" someone - V, maybe? Angel? - shouts, but he's not listening, instead opting to crawl over to Hope and grip his hand tight.

"I hate this," Hope whispers, and Hoseok nods, pulling the normally happier of the pair into his arms. "I hate this _so much_..."

"It's okay," Hoseok murmurs. "It'll be okay."

* * *

Hoseok is splintering, and he knows it.

He's losing time. Losing himself.

Losing everything.

And people will tell him that he's either serious or as hyper as a chipmunk, and he goes to correct them because Jung Hoseok's happy side died with Jimin, when the eyes he knew no longer knew him.

But it exists.

So he decides to give it a name of its own. 

"Hope". 

Fitting.

But then Hope started to take control, and Hoseok lost time.

Hope drops projects, says dumb things, breaks into impromptu dance in abnormalities' containment units, and Hoseok knows he's a liability. Even if Namjoon and Seokjin won't admit it, he's a liability.

He's part of the reason Namjoon's eyes are so haunted. Part of the reason Seokjin doesn't really hear either him or Namjoon anymore.

(Seokjin cut Namjoon loose and expected him to swim, and Hoseok doesn't want to see what happens when he inevitably drowns)

So here Hoseok is. Standing on top of a building.

"Please!" Namjoon shouts from somewhere behind him. "Hoseok, _Hobi, please_."

Hoseok turns, gaze landing on Namjoon's tear-stained face. On the long sword he leans on as though it'll support his weight. On the numerous scars littering his hands and his stomach.

If they were still idols, this wouldn't have happened. Namjoon wouldn't have become Monster.

And Hoseok's at least partly to blame for that.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok whispers, not even sure what he's apologizing for anymore. "I'm sorry, Joonie."

Namjoon makes a sound somewhere in between a choke and a sob as he extends his free hand, and Hoseok's eyes land on the familiar calloused palm.

The same hand that buried Jungkook.

The same hand that brushed blood off Yoongi's cheek.

The same hand that held Taehyung's cold body.

The same hand that gripped Jimin's as his body gave up on him. 

And because Hoseok is a stickler for consistency, he steps forwards and places his bracelet - the ones they had from way back when, back from 2019 - in Namjoon's outstretched hand, making sure his fingertips brush the younger's palm.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, and Namjoon's eyes widen as Hoseok turns and sprints for the edge.

"Hoseok!" the youngest screams, and Hoseok smiles as he closes his eyes. 

It feels like falling.

It feels like flying.

(It feels like dying)

* * *

Hoseok opens his eyes to a scythe in his chest.

He coughs, oil dribbling down his chin as he forces his eyes to move, hoping to catch a glimpse of his assailant. "Na... Nam..."

_NamjoonRM _stares at him, long crimson hair eclipsing his dark eyes. "You're unstable," the man states, and Hoseok gasps, gaze flitting to his other half. 

Hope is gone.

And Hoseok can feel the par of his mind Hope occupied filling his own, making him one, making him _whole_, and he loves it.

"You need to be disposed of," RM repeats, voice flat. "I'm here to do the job."

"Pl... Please..." Hoseok rasps, and he imagines tears would be streaming down his cheeks (if they could). "Juh... Joon..."

RM rips the curved blade from his stomach and digs a foot into his side with a vengeance. "Stop."

Hoseok screams as fire rips through his gut, and he tries to twist away, but he _can't_-

"RM!"

Seagull's eyes flash dangerously, and RM scoffs, turning away. "I'm disposing of him," the man retorts, voice as passionless and clinical as though he was describing his lunch.

It makes Hoseok sick.

Namjoon wasn't an emotionless person. He felt _so much_, Hoseok _knows_, and that's how he knows this isn't his brother.

"He doesn't need to be disposed of," Suga remarks, bending down to place a piece of fabric on the hole in Hoseok's gut. "He's stable now."

And there's something in his eye, something in there that tells Hoseok that Yoongi's here too, and he nearly sobs with relief. "You can go now."

RM's eyes flash, and he adjusts his bomber jacket, shoving his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans. "Next time I won't hesitate," he warns, and Hoseok crumbles into Yoongi's arms, sobs coming fast and heavy.

* * *

They have a club of sorts.

When Hoseok says "club", he really means "gathering" because it's the time they set thirty minutes aside to just talk. To be Bangtan, not the sephirah.

They all love it.

Angel especially - says it feels like sleeping. V once asked him what that feels like, and Angel frowned at him and replied "you have memories, dumbass. Use them".

A real nice guy, that Angel.

Still, they have this time, and all of them take full advantage of it.

Right now, they're just cuddling. Nothing more, just holding each other on the couch.

It's perfect.

"I miss Jinnie-hyung," Jungkook murmurs, and the others turn to him, eyes understanding.

"I know," Hoseok mumbles, pulling the youngest into another hug. "We miss him too."

And they stay there for a moment longer.

Until the override warning they set begins to blare, signalling 50% casualties.

Fifty percent of the facility. Dead.

What could've caused this?

"Guys?" Jimin whispers, gaze landing on the screen. "I think... I think they need us."

Because there, on the screen, laughing like a maniac with blood covering his hands, is RM.

Or so they thought.

But after a moment, they see otherwise.

The way the man wields a sword he has no business knowing, much less being this familiar with. The way De Capo has been thrown to the side in favor of Mimicry.

Namjoon always preferred Mimicry.

This is their Namjoon.

They're out of the room within moments.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on twit:  
@i_was_human_
> 
> also for those of u unfamiliar w/ mimicry:  
https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/924579e5-4813-43f2-8904-bc24dca9a9dd/dbropn9-6bef7496-def3-44f4-b06c-9f41f08585b5.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzkyNDU3OWU1LTQ4MTMtNDNmMi04OTA0LWJjMjRkY2E5YTlkZFwvZGJyb3BuOS02YmVmNzQ5Ni1kZWYzLTQ0ZjQtYjA2Yy05ZjQxZjA4NTg1YjUucG5nIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.PXeTp8KhRRjXWYJcL_ay-4vbiOJl6YVw58U-Ze7tGNI
> 
> that's the sword


End file.
